In my mind I tried to conjure up reasons as to why he would want to end his own life. I thought maybe although he is well off, maybe he felt he was getting older and he wasn't at the place in his career where he wanted to be. There are lots of actors/actresses that don't reach Academy or Oscar awards status, not because they aren't talented but because they aren't willing to compromise their values and who they are in order to excel in that industry. We all know the entertainment industry is dirty so I can see how that could take a toll on a person, especially if it's something they're passionate about. Then, I started thinking did he do something or did someone do/say something to him that he felt he couldn't overcome, maybe it was a mistake, perhaps he was doing something with the gun and didn't check the safety lock and he accidentally shot himself or maybe he was just lonely? Whatever the case may be I just find it crazy that no one had an inkling that he was at that state of depression. I know that not all people that commit suicide leave notes but there had to have been some sign or indication that something wasn't right. Then again, everyone handles their emotions differently, you honestly never know what could be happening in a person's life or what type of thoughts they could be harboring. Not to mention, the spirit of depression is difficult to get rid of. Anyway, my next series of inquiries revolved around the investigation.
Me being the inquisitive person that I am, I wanted details. The statements said that the Landlord found him in his apartment, so I'm wondering what room was his body found in? the kitchen? living room? maybe the bathroom? also he lives in an apartment, not a house which implies he has neighbors, either on both sides or above and below and no one heard anything? maybe they were all at work -_- *shrugs*. What was he wearing? was he wearing PJ's or was he dressed like he was going in to work? who was the last person he talked to and when? where did they find the gun and is it even his? I mean inquiring minds want to know! The last thing I read is that his family admitted that he had previously suffered from depression and that they are trying to contact his doctors to get some answers other than that there is no indication in his computer files or his diary as to why he was depressed or committed suicide. So I'm wondering if they prescribed any anti-depressants, I've read that there have been many cases of suicides while on certain medicines and it only makes me wonder. All of this is just speculation and I know celebrities are human and they have problems (if not more) and die just like everyone else but it's so much craziness going on nowadays it's hard for me to take their deaths at face value anymore and I know I'm not the only one that feels this way.
I don't know but I wish someone knew something, he seemed like such a pleasant, down to earth guy and that's what I liked most about him. When I would watch his interviews, especially the video he made with his friend (which happens to be my favorite) and they were talking about their college experiences I just got the impression that he was like "the boy next door", cute sense of humor, not someone you would feel intimidated by, just an overall good guy. And to think that whatever he was going through was so unbearable that he would rather die than live another day is devastating, and that's for anybody who has committed or even contemplated suicide. I think I honestly would have rather someone else taken his life than for him to take his own (if indeed it's true). You know, I just read that he had been dabbling in an African religion called Yoruba looking to seek enlightenment but I guess he didn't find what he was looking for. I bring this up because I always wondered if he was a Christian and if he knew the Lord (apart of my criteria for future prospects) and I wonder if he did would that have made a difference, maybe if he or some of these other people who've ended their own lives would've known, if someone could have shared how precious and how important they are in Christ and that despite their circumstances, no matter how lonely they feel there is a Savior who cares, who loves us so much that he willingly suffered cruelty, humiliation, took our penalty and died so that we can be reunited with the Father once again maybe, just maybe they would've thought twice.
Gosh it wasn't too long ago that I watched him and his friend's video (below) for the umpteenth time, I even watched "The Jett Jackson Movie" again, in YEARS on the little screen on my iphone, and I had a couple pics of him in my phone (for eye candy purposes, it's totally normal). I mean even though I probably would have never met him just the fact that now I know I never will saddens me everytime I think about it. Another life snuffed out way too soon smh. Unfortunately, we'll probably still be left with questions regarding this matter and I pray that God will give comfort to his family and friends in this hard time.
Below are a couple of my fave vids of him :)
