Maybe a week or so ago I read a story named "Collections of Love". It was composed of three short stories, each told from three people's perspective. The story centered around their relationship & was pretty much based on the idea of unrequited love. Out of all three stories the last one "Mouldings of Love" really left an impression on me. Without giving away too much I'll just state that what disturbed me the most about the main character is that he was actually in love with the woman that loved him but he was in a state of denial. I'm not sure if at the time he couldn't recognize his own feelings, or whether he really even wanted to but whatever the case may be, it eventually led him to suffer & forever long for something he was obviously missing, something that had always been there. The ending of his story left me somewhat dejected and asking the question "what if?".
Unrequited love ... many of us have probably shared the mentally and emotionally agonizing experience of being emotionally involved with someone who didn't reciprocate our feelings but what about the unspoken kind? The one where both parties have a mutual physical and emotional attraction but perhaps one misread or ignored the signs or simply neither chose to express it. Maybe, later on in life one of the individuals finally admits to their feelings but by that time it seems that it is always too late, or not, it depends. On the other hand, say the person never said anything at all and both go through life oblivious, never knowing that the one they like/love actually loved them back.
Me, I've experienced both unrequited like and the unspoken and while both are equally painful it really leaves me bothered that the person I secretly admired actually felt the same and neither one of us uttered a word. It plagues me so, because I'm left with the lingering question of "what if?" ?" what if I would've told him how I felt? or what if he would've said something sooner? what would've happened? would we be together? would our lives have been different? Perhaps being ignorant of the fact would be identical to it being unrequited and would probably be an easier pill to swallow but the latter unfortunately leaves a bitter aftertaste.
Often times we may conceal our feelings or tend to not put ourselves out there in fear of rejection or some other reason depending on the circumstances. This is totally understandable but I'm beginning to feel that if the person isn't involved or married what's stopping you?! us?! People have always told me "don't be afraid to open your mouth ... the worst a person can say is no" and I would think,"that's the point! I don't like to hear NO ... NO hurts". But, sometimes rejection is better than not knowing.
Truthfully speaking, I don't want to end up like the guy in the story feeling pathetic and miserable, living his life in self-denial, lonely and longing for a love that has always been there; Or, how about the people in the movies who's heart shatters as they watch the person they love walk down the isle, present their vows to and marry someone else. Just the thought itself causes me to feel somewhat emotional. In the end, I don't want to be subject to a love unspoken, the one replaying the words "who knows what could've been, what would've been had I just opened my mouth" ... what about you?
If you would like to check out the story I read here's the link Collections of Love :)
I actually experienced both unrequited and unspoken myself. Being left with that lingering question "what if?" does something to you and it's far from good. I learned to say what's on your heart but be prepared for the outcome.
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